The Art Of Respect

By Hiba Itani


Today, my thoughts wander back to a quote that my teacher in middle school used to repeat a lot: “Respect yourself to be respected”.When I first heard that quote, it didn’t make any sense to me. OKAY…I will respect myself, but that will only make me respected by me, not by others!! Years later, I began to understand what is really meant by self respect; I began to understand why it didn’t make any sense to me earlier. It was mainly because I was thinking of self respect as a passive impression or a means to an end, while in fact it is a quest by itself.When I think about the things I regret, I think about the times that I have wasted, the words that I should not have said, the actions that I should have done, and those that I should have avoided. What hurts most about my regrets is that I could have done all of these things differently, but I made the wrong decisions, even though I knew better! I didn’t respect my time enough to use it more productively. I didn’t respect my sanity enough to think more wisely. I didn’t respect my energy enough to attend to all my duties and take initiative. Simply, I didn’t respect my life enough to live it right!I now see that it shouldn’t matter to me if people respect me, but it sure should matter to me whether or not I respect myself and the time I have in this life, for that is all I can offer to myself.Allah, the Most Merciful, has planted within us the need to strive for happiness and dignity, and has shown us the right way to do so. The funny thing is, that most of the time, what is standing between us and achieving that is no one other than ourselves!!There is a big difference between respect and slavery. The question we should ask ourselves is: Do we really respect and care about ourselves? Do we want the best for ourselves? Or are we merely the slaves of own desires, wasting time and energy, disregarding our sanity, and standing in the way of ourselves?Now is the time for reassessment. Now is the time for regrets to be transformed into something beautiful: Change. Now, before the last breath escapes and regrets become nothing more than a vicious enemy.

Two Lessons I Learned from Studying Psychology

By Mona Ayoub

We live in a culture of “labeling” as one professor once beautifully put it. As we interact daily with people, we (consciously or unconsciously) busy ourselves with forming (many times) distorted mental images of them. Any mistake (whether major or minor) is the so-awaited opportunity for us to grant them one of our “labels”.”Criminal”. “Sinner”. You name it.

Clinical psychologists are carefully trained how to make a psychological diagnosis. Identifying the “trigger” of the disorder is usually a key step. For them, a “dysfunctioning” does not come from “nowhere”: there should be a reason for it. Sometimes they put tremendous efforts to discover it: Could it be a broken home, ignorance, a traumatizing event, an excess or lack of some brain chemicals…? What could it be??

Prisons are full with criminals who are offered no rehabilitation opportunities. “Sinners” are rarely guided the right way.

Lesson 1: NEVER JUDGE

Materialistic societies are “brains hungry”. A high IQ or an outstanding talent can be a key to success, fame, money, and respect. There’s no place for “average”.

Studying psychology helped me become more aware of “individual differences”. It opened my eyes to the countless hidden treasures in many people around me.

There’s more in human beings than high IQs and outstanding talents.

The ability to smile in times of hardship is exceptional. Keeping a “soft-heart” in a jungle world is incomparable. Having a peaceful soul amidst craziness is extraordinary.

Lesson 2: EVERYONE IS SPECIAL.

                        LOOK FOR THEIR TREASURE.

State Of Gratitude

By Rana Yassin

As human beings, we all face ups and downs in our lives. This is the nature and reality of this earthly world, and I insist on calling it so, because it is imperfect in the sense that we face day-to-day hardships.

When we are facing bad moods, we feel that nothing is perfect in our lives. We hate everything around us. It can go as far as having us hate ourselves and criticizing ourselves for every action we do. At this stage, one may even reach a state psychologists may define as ‘depression’.

The internet is full of information as to how we can deal with such issues. People often stumble upon many articles while surfing the web, some examples include: ‘The Best 10 Ways To Boost Your Self-Esteem’, ‘Things That You Must Consider In Order To Avoid Depression’, ‘Tips To Keep You Positive’ and numerous others.

I tried most of them, to an extent that I had their repetitive tips memorized. Every time I would read a new article, I was almost able to predict the tips or steps they ask us to do.

Until one time, when I asked myself why I don’t look at my religion, Islam, and see, how as Muslims we are supposed to deal with these issues. It is indeed astonishing how some Muslims have this calmness in their faces. You can realize it from the way they speak, move, and react. I searched until I got the answer; it was something I assure you you would never find in any of those articles that you might stumble upon on the internet.

It is something that not only boosts your self-esteem, but also strengthens your relationship with your Lord. It is in that state when you feel that you are not only happy with that you have, but you are also satisfied with it and grateful about it.

How you get to this point is something people from all faiths can apply. This is the beauty of what I discovered – it isn’t restricted to my own religion only!

So here is the trick...

Try to do this as frequent as possible, every time you get the feeling that something is going wrong and you are not feeling happy about your life:

1. Visit a calm place where nobody can disturb you.
2. Close your eyes.
3. Breathe deeply.
4. Say with every breath you take, in and out, THANK GOD.

With every word you say, remember what God granted you:

THANK GOD, for being alive.

THANK GOD, for granting me a house.

THANK GOD, for granting me a family.

THANK GOD, for granting me education.

THANK GOD, for granting me a brain………

And the list goes on till you reach the tiniest stuff that you were granted in your life. This includes everything, even the things that you are not satisfied with. When applying this method, you will ultimately get to be satisfied with them.

THANK GOD, for granting me this tough experience, because it will make me a better person in the future.

THANK GOD, for making me sick, because I will appreciate the meaning of having a healthy body.

In conclusion, I am not saying here that all these articles are not useful and we should not try these tips. On the contrary, we should, and they are very helpful! But let’s make them special, and add to them this spiritual ingredient that will make the taste much sweeter. They heal our hearts much faster.

  

The Problem Of Evil

By Maryah Damlaj

Are we born evil? Why is there so much suffering in the world? If God is All-Loving and All-Compassionate as people say, then why did God create evil beings?

These questions and many others are frequently being asked; surprisingly, by some believers themselves. There is no religion that tries to disprove that God is All-Caring, All-Loving, and Subtly Kind. Then, why is there so much evil that encompasses every region in this world? Since God is Good, He would then create everything good. Yet, it’s strange how satan, referred to as the ultimate evil by some people, is created by Allah Himself. In that sense, one would feel there is a logical contradiction between the good attributes of Allah and the presence of evil, which is why this is referred to as the logical problem.

Allah is perfect good. He alone is the Absolute good. He indeed created everything good! “Does He who created not know, while He is the Subtle, the Acquainted?” (Qur’an 67:14) There is absolutely no evil whatsoever. Evil is merely the absence of goodness. Allah has not given the devil the power to forcibly misguide man. He can only whisper man to do evil acts. However, it is man who has the free will who decides to misuse his discretion and surrender to his/her desires and sentiments.

Also, for morality to be achieved, no one should be forced to do good. Therefore, Allah, the Utterly Just, would simply give people the free choice or the free will to decide upon their actions. Superficially, the problem of evil sounds evil, but philosophically it can prove the existence of God.

Furthermore, for someone to claim there is evil, he/she would judge the act subjectively. There is no objectivity in his argument. These are purely probabilistic judgments because humans have morally insufficient reasons to label an action as being evil or good. An act might seem to be evil in the short-term; yet, genuinely good in the long-term. The same applies vice versa. The problem here is that we don’t have enough knowledge or even enough resources to make judgments regarding what is considered evil or what is considered good.

Anyway, if the situation was still perceived as unfair from a man’s limited scope, that person, if patient, will be compensated in the Afterlife for that claimed unfair treatment. So even if someone experienced torments in this life, he would still be rewarded.

Don’t be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good! The satan collapses, feels defeat, humiliation, and jealous when he sees the son of Adam as in prostration (sujood). This is because it reminds him when he refused to prostrate to Adam (peace be upon him) when Allah commanded him.  If that is so, then one of the tactics to avoid evil and to become closer to Allah, the All-Good, is through prostrating or performing sujood: “Prostrate in adoration and bring yourself close (to Allah)" (Qur’an 96:19). Therefore, prayers will liberate us from satan; hence, liberating us from evil. This is one of the reasons why the first thing which will be judged among a man's deeds on the Day of Resurrection is Prayer.

            It is through prayers, that we can liberate ourselves from evil. We should try as much as possible to reject the beautified temptations that the devil tries to create for us and return to the All-Loving, the All-Caring God Who loves us even more than our dear mothers.

Appreciate!

By Ola Hanafi

Jamila, 12 years old, is in a wheelchair. She was born with a handicap in her legs. Her parents got divorced and each one got remarried.

Ziad, 70 years old, is the son of a well known doctor. He was born with a small handicap in his legs. He was only limping.

Hajji Riad is the father of nine grown up children and the grandfather of thirty grandchildren. 

They all ended up living in one place. 

My friends and I met them all this Saturday afternoon:

Jamila was the first person we met. She was sitting alone in the corridor, left by her parents who decided to continue their life without her.

Jamila is very shy, she refused to play with us but was smiling to each and every person talking to her.  

Ziad is so sweet! After falling down the stairs of the retirement house, he had to continue his life in a wheelchair. He looks very weak physically and seems to be emotionally unstable. He likes talking to others. He kept on telling each of us how nice we are. He told us how much he loves one of his roommates and how much he loves his parents. He told me that his father was a great doctor. His words were not clear but he started crying and I understood that he misses his parents; a friend told me both of them died so I had to change the subject to make him smile again. It is strange though how much he loves his parents although his mother decided to put him in this place fearing that keeping a handicapped kid would ruin her husband's reputation.

  

Hajji Riad looks very old. He makes you feel that his experience in life gave him wisdom. I wish I had more time to learn from him. 

When you ask him how he is doing, he replies: "Thank God, I can still walk.". In fact, he is one of the few in this place who can walk. He told us that God answers all his prayers, so when I asked him to pray for me he said "If you’re married, may Allah grant you fifteen kids". My immediate response was: "FIFTEEN KIDS! How am I going to be able to raise them all?" This is when he told me he has nine children. I was astounded at this. Nine children and thirty grandchildren and none of them made the effort to take care of him?! I learned later that his children decided to get their share of the heritage by putting him in this place and proving to the legal court that he couldn’t take care of himself anymore.

These are samples of a thousand sad stories this place hides. 

When the visit ended, I went back to my car to drive home and thought how amazing it was:

For me this nightmare ended the very minute I put a foot outside this place. What about them? This orphanage/retirement house for handicapped and mentally ill people is their home. A building full of long corridors, rooms with four to six beds and sometimes a TV for the lucky ones; for them, there is no other place to go to.

From this experience, I could list thousands of blessings I haven’t been pondering over before: the blessing of coming into this world with no handicap, of having good health, of being able to walk, of not being dependent on anyone in any of my daily tasks, of having grown up in the house of my parents, having parents who love me and take care of me…

I could go like this for pages, but I leave it for you to think of your own blessings. 

The Highest Level of Perfection!

By Mohamed Bazzy

We humans, an image of intelligence through which we are the core of this creation, are the guardians of this plane. Had we appointed to our interaction with the universe signs of dominance or transgression, we would then see the aches of history buried down our feet!

Thus it is a discourse of responsibility we should take on our shoulders, as to discover, learn, and build for the survival of the global.

Amongst all plants, animals, living and non-living beings, we are honored by the signs of intellect that demarcates between construction and deconstruction. It is the basis of knowledge from which all sciences stem their methods and orient their goals. In Islam, the beauty of knowledge is that of its tri-dimensional base: God, Man, and the Universe. The interaction is dialectical; yet profoundly rooted within coherence and intelligibility.

Reflecting its importance, the first word that manifested sovereignty is the Arabic "إقرأ" "Read"! Amongst the unfolded linguistic capacity in the Arabic literature, "Read" was in the front holding the cresset for the blessed enlightenment; lifting both the Arabs and the West, afterwards, from ages of darkness to periods of thought and humanity.

"Read" is not an order that is forced on Man with power and tyranny. Rather it is molded with the antiquity of being and with that essence of him that shall always be the oar of his ship!

God: the Creator of all, the omnipotent and omniscient. The Sole-giver, Whom from His Blessings order, beauty, and science saw the light and paved the way for His elected vicegerent.

Man: The Central creature that which all other reflections of God orbit and bow! He took the responsibility, by his rationality and moral spirituality, of encompassing reality in terms of its theoretical philosophy and applied actuality.

The Universe: it is those reflections of God and the manifestations of His will. It is the origins of Man and his field of search and actions.

"Tawhid" is the Unity of the Divine Principle. It unites the integrated world of multiplicity, the various fields and domains of knowledge, under the coherent intersection of the Rationale and the Innate Constitution of the Soul. It is the underlying principle that bonds the fragmented fields and realities of knowledge in the intellect of Man and his soul. It becomes his ultimate reality from which he perceives the world.  From this converging lens, the multiple fields of interaction with the physical becomes a unity, an up thrust, and an uprising force towards liberation; liberation from ignorance, transgression, and servitude of the self and yearnings.

This is the highest level of perfection attained by the profound understanding of Tawhid and by implementing its foundations starting from knowledge, as a critical philosophy, of the self, the universe, and God.

Consequently, knowledge is critical to Man that without it he loses his essentiality in this creation and centrality on this plane. It is that alleviating factor that sublimates his essence from sheer materiality to exalted spirituality, once "Tawhid" is recognized as the ultimate truth connecting the multiple realities, being as the unity of the Divine Principle.

A “Refugee”

by Mona Ayoub

Time froze the moment she left Palestine. None of the events that followed in her life made any sense to her. None of her eleven children, her grandchildren, or her new friendly neighbors could  allay the bitterness in her heart.

In moments of deep nostalgia, she would sit next to me, recalling the old days. Her eyes would look far outside the window, as if directing them to the beloved land. My grandmother would tell me how prominent my grandfather was: “He used to be a brave soldier, with a grandiose riffle that I hung over the wall”. Sometimes it felt too harsh to remind her of the reality that my grandfather was just a regular police officer and not the great soldier she perceives in her mind. My grandfather was serving in the English army, which, ironically, contributed to his exile from Palestine. “Teta’s” fancies would continue gushing out as her head roamed with memories : she would tell me about the grand  mansion they owned in “Sheick Dawood”- the name of my village in Palestine. She would vividly recount all the tiny details of the house; accurately enumerate all the pieces of furniture she carefully bought from “Akka” or the other ones she inherited from her mother-in-law. A big smile would light up her face the moment she would hear the name”Sit Aysha” from the corners of her memory. This is what she used to be called in Palestine: She was the “sit” (Arabic word for female master) of the village, and the poor there used to , without  any hesitations, come to her house asking for help. She never let any of them down as she always generously shared her meals, pieces of fabric or any valuables.

These were the good days for my grandma. Slowly, “Teta” would tilt her head and sigh in despair as the arid breeze awakens her. Sixty years were not enough for her to fathom that she lost her land, her mansion, and her first husband. They were not enough to understand how she, in a matter of hours, turned from the “sit” of her village to an abandoned “refugee”.

I belong to the third generation of the Palestinians who took shelter in Lebanon after being fiercely attacked by Israeli troops in 1948. “Where do you come from?” was a detested question to answer. As a child, it was hard to hear remarks from friends about my “discriminatory” blue ID, or the fact that I don’t have a Lebanese “village of origin” to spend vacations in. Being a “refugee” in Lebanon means that you have to deal with the stigma, hard-to- answer questions, scare job permits even if they are available and you’re well qualified for, and the fact that you cannot have any possessions no matter how rich you are. Simply, being a refugee means that you have to deal with lots of uncertainties. Sometimes, I feel that being an “outside-camps” refugee is a blessing and a hardship to deal with at the same time. I miss the precious feeling of belonging to a group that shares my history, suffering, and future hopes.

By and by, I got to know how to reconcile my many identities, and how to live with being a refugee.

One visit to a Syrian refugee camp stirred too many emotions, and brought a lot of memories, some of which are a mere construct of my imagination. As I was touring between the ill-conditioned houses and looking at bare-feet, shreds wearing children, I remembered “Teta Aysha”. I lived a suffering that I actually haven’t experienced. Had God willed that I see light some few years earlier than I did, I would have been just like any of these kids; unschooled, not cared for, and desperately waiting for a “box of aid” filled with small packages of food.

Should their stay get prolonged, they might come to a day where they would hold the same “discriminatory” IDs that mark me as a “refugee”. We would come to share the same fate.

Sometime I miss Palestine. Sometimes I miss being a “Palestinian citizen”.           

Purpose, Please

By Ali Harfouch

Often, while we are painstakingly reading through a biology textbook or blissfully watching the sunset with a loved one, we are faced with a striking reality: Everything around us has a purpose. Be it the cells in our body, or the orbiting planets, or even the creases in our fingers - they all have a function. Socrates knew what he was talking about when he said, "This world appears in such a manner which gives no possibility to coincidence."
This becomes even more obvious when we observe that all these different creations are in perfect and fused harmony. The intricate functioning of our organs and the orbiting patterns of the sun and moon point toward a system that cannot be ignored by the curious mind. For example, a car has several functions. The air-conditioning system, the engine, the windows, all of which are inter-dependent, all have different functions, yet the car and its parts have a united purpose: transportation.
Similarly, one can say the same about our universe. Astrophysicist and Nobel Laureate Arno Penzias observed that "Astronomy leads us to a unique event, a universe which was created out of nothing, one with the very delicate balance needed to provide exactly the conditions required to permit life, and one which has an underlying (one might say "supernatural") plan."
Every single constant and creation around us serves a specific purpose and functions around the stability and preservation of mankind. This realization leaves one with a deep yet honest question: Are humans - one of the most intricately designed creatures - left without a purpose?